Learn to become who you are

Some days it's really easy to be me. I wake up with a zest for my own life and I begin my day looking forward to all the new adventures that will come my way. Then there are those days that I can barely open my eyes and my soul seems closed off to anything and everything new that might come my way. Sometimes those days turn into weeks....and I find myself questioning who I have become. Who I have chosen to be, who I continue to work towards becoming.

I grew up the oldest girl and therefore had responsibilities thrust upon me before I could really understand what it meant. I grew up always taking care of someone else. Making sure my sisters got their homework done, the dishes were done, people were fed, no fighting, the house was picked up...to technically I was a housewife since about age 8. I remember one time when I was about 12 or 13 years old I was sitting with my mom in our living room and when my dad came home, he asked me what was for dinner. He specifically addressed me and asked me what was for dinner....I remember thinking that was cool...I loved that. I felt in charge and kind of like a big deal. Looking back on it however, it kind of blows.

I learned early on in life to take care of other people. To put their needs, wants and desires first and that's not a bad thing, but it kind of leaves me in a weird place now as a single adult. I no longer have anyone to do that for. For about 12 years I was an assistant of some type, I was always the go to, knowledgeable person and that worked for me. Within the last year and half to two years, I've become more of a solitary worker bee. I mostly have no interaction with other humans, I write and edit and stare at a computer screen or scour the Internet for data. Who have I chosen to become?

We make the choice to be who we are by the actions we do each and everyday. I'm a little worried I've chosen a path that isn't who I really am. Can you go back and re-trace your steps and by doing something as simple as making different choices, ultimately change your path?

Worth a try.