There are no such things as coincidences…..

Or are there?

The word “coincidence” is actually two words, “co” and “incidence,” which means when two things happen at the same time for no apparent reason.

It’s been said that coincidences are just routine patterns that we haven’t yet recognized. Is it a “coincidence” that I have coffee every morning (well, mostly if someone else is making it) or is it routine, habit…part of me?

Sometimes in the midst of chaos, routine is what keeps us sane, keeps us going….keeps us plugging along the life path we’ve chosen to be on. Every day we take the same way to work, drink the same cup of coffee, go to the same job and starting it all over again the very next day HOPING something will be different…but the circle continues…the wheels keep turning and we keep moving until something, like fate, jumps in to remind us, we aren’t alone.

Life is something planned…we figure out who we think we want to be early on and we move towards it. We pick a school, a job, a career, a life, a mate…..we plan….mostly leaving nothing to chance, for a the life we think we want. “Show us signs along our path that lead us to the answers we need right now to advance our lives in accordance with our happiness."

Hopefully we are planning a life based on our own happiness, but that’s another issue all together. If anyone took the time to watch us, I mean to study our lives from the outside, they would see no coincidences, no change in our easy, predictable, traceable routines. It’s really just a breathable version of connect the dots. Every once in a while however, fate gives us a nudge, like a giant elbow to the head, causing our routine to skip a beat, just for a second, making us remember we’re still alive. A sudden job loss, the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship…any big life change is there to tap us on the shoulder and remind us to live our live, not just coast through. It’s easy to get caught up in a routine.

Sometimes that’s what we have to do for a short time. When I was in school, my life was filled with nothing BUT routine. I went to class Tuesday nights, did the reading or assignments (homework) Wednesdays, had a professional commitment on Thursdays….Friday was MY night. Usually it consisted of sleep, or errands or trying to reconnect with family and friends. Saturdays it was meeting with my group or doing more homework, Sunday was cleaning, laundry, shopping and finishing up any last minute house/life stuff which lead us into Monday, which was devoted to making sure homework was done and ready for Tuesday class. It was that way for so long that when it finally ended, I almost had a breakdown….now what do I do? Coincidence? Routine? Whatever it was, it got me through a challenging time. Now the trick is to find that balance in everyday life so we don’t have to go through these stages of routine waiting for fate to slap us in the head to remind us were here.

Is it a coincidence we’ve become friends, lovers, partners, husbands, wives…..family with people we’ve met? Is the Universe conspiring to send us those people that we need? Have you ever met someone and before you know it you can’t imagine your life without that person in it? You can’t imagine waking up one day not seeing them, talking to them, having them be a part of your whole entire being? Is that a coincidence or is it fate?

Fate is the supposed force or power that predetermines events, a series of inevitable events that we don't choose or control. If you believe in fate, it’s probably bigger than just that simple statement, but you have to accept the fact that you have no idea what is going to happen, that someone or something bigger than you,however, does. Has our “fate” already been decided for us or do we get to plan that as we make our own life choices? Is the entire cosmos system out there deciding for us or do we meet people along the way (coincidence) that redirect us and take us to new/different paths?

“The man, who knows something, knows that he knows nothing at all” So are you ready to accept that? Believing in coincidences doesn’t mean that we are stuck with a life of simplicity, or that our actions don’t matter, choice is always a part of our own lives. Our actions matter. Our choices matter. Everyday we get to choose the things we want to keep in our lives and the things/people/jobs/stuff it may be time to let go of. Other than that, you have no way of knowing specifically how you will influence the universe; you can only assume that if you live life passionately, pursuing a life dedicated to your own pursuit of happiness, that your effect will be positive.

In this life, that may be as good as it gets.