It's a ride not a fight

Everyday we get up, we try to start our day with the best intentions. I always think "today is the day everything is going to change". Then I get out into the world and I feel small and insignificant and I have no power to change anything. I just sort of react, exist, manage everything around me. Feels like everything I attempt is a fight, an uphill climb. Isn't it strange how the littlest things can really change who we are?

It's exhausting to always wish you were someone else. I wonder if we ever settle into the fact that we are who we are and we have the life we have and it's OK. The point of life, of living is to grow and want more....but there is probably a difference between wanting more and needing more. It seems acceptable to want more from life but if we spend all our time and energy NEEDING more then it makes you wonder....what's missing?

Do we ever get those missing pieces of ourselves? If we keep looking, keep searching keep trying to get that missing piece, do we ever really ever feel complete? Do we ever get that piece of the puzzle and feel really content with what we have and where we are?

Developing as a person doesn't really mean you have to become someone completely different but it's more about personal development. Growing as a person forces us to build upon the foundation that we already have. Some days it feels a little harder than others, but it helps to have goals or to see the bigger picture. We can easily accept where we are starting from but it's where we want to end up that can totally muddle things up.

It's like walking in between sunset and sunrise. We get so tied up in our day, our own lives that we lose sight of where we are trying to go....walking in between. It's time to choose a path, to stop stumbling through life. It's time to let things go, to stop waiting. It's time to start moving in some direction again. I miss who I was before. I have been living this year in a pause mode, I guess technically it's not really living if your paused. This year feels like there was lots of pausing, waiting, and looking for the rewind button. I think it's time to change that remote and just get going.

Time to put my oars back in the water and begin rowing again - after all, it should be a ride, not a fight.