This last weekend I got to see the results of my hard work over the last year. I have been planning this conference for about a year now from the resort, to the speakers, to the menu, entertainment….all the fine details that go into making a conference work I have been working on. Not 100% alone, I was lucky enough to have the assistance of a good friend who often talked me off the ledge as I began to spin out of control with all the “to-do’s” and a really great Board that did whatever I asked of them.
It was a great turn out too….we had the most attend a fall conference that we’ve had in several years. I’d like to say it was me…but really, it probably was more the timing, the cost or location, possibly the speakers….and maybe a teeny bit me…but it was great. I was very stressed and overwhelmed getting to the point of the conference starting but with the blink of an eye….it’s over. It’s kind of left a gaping hole in my life, time and nights. I spent so many nights working on the little details and checking and double checking my lists that now I’m not even sure what to do with myself!
It’s funny how that happens. We work so hard TOWARDS something and with a blink of the eye it’s over. What do we do with all that energy and guster we’ve mustered up to keep us plugging along? I’m completely exhausted….like I haven’t been in a very long time. I fell asleep on my couch Sunday night at about 7 p.m. and didn’t wake up until about 3 a.m. I probably could have slept that whole Monday away had it now been for the fact that I had to work. I wish I could have spent a little more down time at the actual resort…it was so beautiful and my room was AMAZING and the time with my friend was nice too…it just went by too fast. I feel like I really didn’t get to enjoy it as much as I could have.
The conference was centered around a person getting their “mojo” back…and once you have it, how do you keep it?
I'm trying to practice all the speakers told us, shared with us...but when you get back to your life it gets hard. It gets complicated an oogey. In that atmosphere I can totally get all rah rah and on board with what I have to do but once I get back to my world, my desk, my 409 emails....I lose my guster...my mojo..my higher purpose. I get sucked into the slouched body, the furrowed eyebrows, the desire to reach through the phone and slap people....it all comes flowing back to me like a river. Ahhh, the stress and chaos of everyday life is there waiting for me like an old friend.
In a perfect world I would do what I was told, what makes sense...I would say NO and mean it. I would delegate and be OK with it....I would only do what I can do and go home happy and content that I make a difference....but actually I can't say no...I'm over ruled (it's hard being a peon) I can delegate but I can't trust that it actually get's done...because more often than not it DOESN'T get done unless I'm there to nag it along and it seems that no matter how much I want to walk out the door at a certain time, I'm stopped....I'm trapped.
I GET to do this....day in and day out...I don't HAVE to....I GET to. Yes...that's what I HAVE to remind myself of.
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