Taking care of those you love

The other day after eating my buffet lunch I opened my fortune cookie which read "you have a strong instinct to take care of the people you love”. At first I was rather disappointed it wasn't something more profound.....more wisdom filled but then I thought “isn’t that true about everyone? Doesn’t everyone want to take care of those they love?” I realized suddenly, with great sadness, No, that’s not necessarily the truth. I mean I think we’d like it to be, but really, it’s not. Sometimes the one’s we love don’t get the best from us, the love and attention that they deserve.

In a recent conversation with a friend, we discussed life, our jobs/work/careers or whatever label you want to give it, but we talked about it on a different level. I was saying how important it is for me personally, to feel needed, connected or that what I am doing was making a difference in the bigger picture or I am not feeling it...not feeling the joy of working. Then it turned to discussing how many of us get our validation and self-worth from our jobs.

Her comment was a job should never define who we are and yet I thought, it does. I know many people who work like crazy, even at the expense of their loved ones. How many people do you know that work more than they spend time with their families? It’s kind of the way we are expected to be. It’s called the "rat race" for a reason…right?

A job is defined as: a paid position of regular employment. Basically you work for money. When I have enough I’ll do what I really want to do and then I’ll be happy? Do you think having enough ever happens? Really?

The word career comes from the French word carrier, meaning: “race course”. For many that’s what a career is, an never ending race that just leaves you running towards anything meaningful to hold on to. What are we running to and ultimately running from?

I’m almost always one of the first people at work in the morning. I love this time before the office comes alive and full of the daily hub-bub. I like the quiet, the calm, the time I can do what I need to do without fighting anyone for the printer or over-hearing all the escapades of their night before. It’s quiet. I can’t even believe I am saying this, but I like the quiet during this time…..in the morning.

When the day begins you get caught up in all the daily grind of phones, emails, deadlines, meetings and the hurry up mentality that the corporate world offers. Hurry up and do this…oh wait, now we don’t want to use it or do that anymore…not go do this…but hurry. Hurry from this meeting to that meeting where we will talk things to death but never really accomplish anything....of real importance...just keep on keeping on. Ahhh, the rat race is a good place….if only there was some good cheese at the end.

So this brings me back to my original thought….taking care of those you love. I have lots of people in my life I love…and in turn I would love to and I do love to take care of them…but here's where I started thinking.....why don't we include ourselves in that? Why aren't we part of "the people we love"? I was a little surprised at myself....all I could think about was how lucky I am to have some amazing people in my life that I get to call family and friends that I would do anything for....and I do, I change my life around all the time to accommodate their wants and needs but I can't tell you the last time I've done that for ME.

Funny isn't it....we never stop to think about ourselves as being someone we should love. Hmm, perhaps a glass of wine and some good cheese is needed to ponder this more.