Humans are creatures of habit and routine. I read some place that it takes a person 20 years to develop our adult personalities. During that time we are also developing behaviors and habits that will stay with us for our lifetime. Unfortunately, some of those behaviors and habits are not always healthy or helpful to us. Some may cause us long-term difficulties in our lives or in our relationships with others.
My body is used to a routine. I set my alarm for 5 am on weekdays. My body knows this and even on weekends it refuses to sleep in. Typically I am awake a little before the alarm goes off. Some days I am feeling tired so I hit my 9 minute snooze 2 or 3 times before I actually get up, sometimes I just get up. This is my routine. I get up, wash my face, brush my teeth, try to look presentable for my day and off I go.
I often have good intentions that I forget about.....like bringing my lunch, or making coffee at home and putting in my nice to go thermal cup. I leave myself notes that I can completely over look. I try to leave my house in a clean and presentable fashion should I not return home for some god forsaken reason I don't want someone to come into my house and think I am a slob. I don't leave dishes in my sink, I don't leave towels on the floor and I clean the sink out after fixing my face and hair....just in case someone has to come in when I am not home. These are my habits.
I started thinking about the difference between routine and habits on my drive in today. I woke up ungodly early today (3:30 am) and finally gave up trying to go back to sleep at about 4:30. I got up, made a cup of coffee and some breakfast (thank God for left overs!!). I sat down to eat and enjoy the quiet of the morning and realized this was completely out of the ordinary for me. It was so not something I do most or pretty much ANY days. I usually lay in bed until I have to drag my butt out, get dressed and leave. I try to leave before traffic gets all wonky because I live in road construction haven. I try to leave early to avoid other crazy drivers who are inevitable running late and since I become invisible on the road, I try to get out before them. It doesn't always work.
Last night I went to dinner with a friend at about 8:30 at night. I was so hungry that I inhaled my food so fast that I was pretty much miserable and kinda sick to my stomache almost immediately. So I sat and hoped my body would absorb this food quickly so I wouldn't be so miserable. I realized, that is a terribly bad habit I have...eating fast. I inhale my food so quickly that I am often full before I've really eaten much (like that really stops me) and then in a few hours I am hungry again...but I realized habits always seem like a negative thing vs. a routine which seems like a good, normal, steady thing. I wonder why that is?
Nail biting, not listening, picking your cuticles, tapping your foot to the point you can rock a immobile car....habits...all bad habits. I wondered...can habits really be considered good? Usually we try to break ourselves of our habits by changing our routines. I used to be a HUGE Diet Coke consumer. I had probably 3/4 cans a day. It was my routine (habit) and when I decided to make that change it took lots of concentrated effort to make that change. Now it doesn't even cross my thought process anymore. Try to take my coffee away however and we will be having a different conversation.
So how do we create routine? Sometimes routine can be bad too. If we do things just because we've always done them it takes away the magic of spontaneous moments or events. It's so complicated to be who we are suppose to be with all we have fighting against us, sometimes its us that make it harder. Routine makes me feel predictable....I am not sure I like that at all.
But changing a behavior or habit is not done simply or overnight. If something took 20 years to learn, it seems to me that it will take the equal amount, if not the same time to “unlearn” or to change that behavior or routine. It just seems more difficult than it is because it’s a process, not something you can just wake up one day and say, “Hey, today I’m going to do everything completely differently.”
If we only knew then what we know now would we make the same choices? Would we make different choices? Do we create habits based on the people we spend our time with? Do we create routines to make life easier for ourself or others? Routines seem easy, habits seem more challenging. I wonder if I had to list mine all out which column would have more?
The older I get the more it seems I am more comfortable and familiar with my habits and routines I’ve created in my life. And what is our life if not the sum of our behaviors, thoughts, and feelings, all of which we’ve learned and incorporated into ourselves over our lifetime? It’s who I am. It’s part of my charm. To change is to ask people to give up the familiar for the unfamiliar and for most people that scares the daylights out of them. Humans avoid fear, that’s why most people don’t like change and don’t do a very good job with change when confronted with it.
You can’t ask or expect someone to change all of their routines or habits, its part of who they are. The real key to changing routines isn’t to swap out existing routines for new ones you’ll never change, but rather to challenge ourselves every day with something a little different or new. Realistically, most people cannot change significant amounts in their life without serious effort and time.
Are we just to comfortable in our own madness?
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