Learning to live with what we miss

So many times it's easier to accept change when we make the changes ourselves, when we initiate them. It's easier when we are choosing to stop seeing someone, to end a friendship, to quit a job, to stop accepting bad behavior as acceptable. Why do we continually allow others to rule our lives, to constantly do the adjusting to that kind of life? Maybe not all the time, but we sort of let that behavior continue to be acceptable because it's easier than dealing with it? I don't get it.

I think if you are person in a power position, you have an obligation to NOT accept poor behavior as acceptable. That you have a duty to not make others follow rules and not really enforce it for all parties. I mean, isn't that discrimination?

We learn to live with what we miss. We just build walls up around ourselves in order to get through our days. We keep doing this until something forces them to come tumbling down. We think we are protecting ourselves, blocking ourselves away from the things that hurt us, challenges us, it change us.....but really we just sort of go internal and shut out the world. Is it better to really have loved an lost than to never have loved at all?

It seems like the more you try to put all the pieces of your own life puzzle into place, the harder it gets. It's like all of a sudden you have all these pieces of the puzzle that aren't really even a piece of the puzzle you are working on. How does that happen? Do we just wake up one day and realize we need to put the puzzle together? That we need to have things where they belong and we struggle so hard to make them fit. It's like I keep pounding them into place but they keep popping up again and again. It's frustrating. I think I need to scrap this puzzle and start all over.

Is that an option? Can we really stop our current life path and just start all over? Is it as simple as that? What would it take? Do we quit our job, stop hanging with family and friends? Turn off our phone, computer....stop our connection in every form with the world as we know it? Do we do a hard re-boot of our own life and see where we end up?

Each day seems like an itch. I reach for it but I can't quite scratch it, every day it itches just a little bit more but I'm never really able to reach it.