The Art of Saying (and meaning it) No

So many times we do things out of obligation. We say YES when we really mean DEAR GOD NO! We commit ourselves, our time; even our finances to things we really don't want to. Is it because we are afraid to say NO? Because saying no to something equates to being alone, bored, unhappy? I'm not sure where it all went off track..but I am saying YES to saying NO.

It only has two letters, but "no" is a powerful word. It's a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments, you end up spreading yourself too thin and then you are ultimately not good at any of them. It also can take the joy out of the things you really want to be doing because you become so focused on what's on your plate.

Recently I found myself really, sadly disappointed by a friend. We had been planning an event, an outing, a day-o-fun as I like to call it, for quite a while. We talked about it non-stop, planned for it, giggled about it but when it came time to actually doing it, she pulled out. She said NO. I was really disappointed by it. If she would have been honest with me up front and said OMG, I totally want to do this but I a) can't afford it, b) can't leave my family alone, c) don't really want to spend that much time with you.....whatever the reason, I would have been OK with it. I would have accepted it. So why do we do this? Why do we say YES when we really mean NO?

I am really exhausted by those people that say YES to everything and yet rarely show up or participate or contribute to what they have agreed to. It's time to take back the power of saying NO and use it for good, not evil.

I get that saying NO is an art form, and the more you do it, the better you get at it. If there is one thing I have learned as I've gotten older, it's that saying NO sometimes means saying YES to something else.

I wonder what things would be like if we really only commit to those things we really feel we can give our all to? Or is it possible that by doing things we may not be 100% committed to we actually learn something new? That we push ourselves to a new peak or place we've never been to? Is it possible that saying YES when we really mean NO can teach us something positive?

No, probably not. See....that wasn't so hard.