Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Finding our value

I read somewhere that the path to true happiness is often blocked by our own self. That we are our own worst enemies. It went on to say that we, in a sense, have to lose our mind to be happy. Well if that is true, I should have been happy a long time ago!

I did find out later in the book what the author meant by that. When we were small children we experienced life very differently, that everyday was a new adventure and as we got older we stopped experiencing things in that same way. Our minds started to define and categorize all the experiences and events that happened to us and around us. We learned to be self critcal and judmental of not only ourselves, but those around us. The bottom line was we needed to live life in the "Here and Now" we need to go back to experiencing the world around us on a day to day basis as we did before we got all hardened and jaded by life.

Just like a child's first step out on the lawn, the pointy blades of grass tickle us and it's a new wonderful experience. When was the last time you experienced that sensation? I was talking to a friend last night and we discussed how we don't see things about ourselves that others do. Like the way we go out of our way to give to others, to help, to be kind, to do what we would want someone to do for us...but it seems like normal behavior to us so we don't see it as something bigger than that. We don't see our own value. Does this mean we are missing our purpose? Are we so blinded by our own self that we can't see our purpose?

By finding your purpose in life you find your connection to the bigger picture. To the bubble outside of your own. For me it is by doing random acts of kindness and hoping that those acts of kindness are being paid forward. Finding things that bring you joy and happiness and then doing that for others. Hoping they then find that within themselves and do the same. It's knowing that you have helped someone and brought a little light into their world. Also by getting out in nature and enjoying a nice sunny day will help you appreciate what beauty there is in the world around you. Sometimes just being aware of our own surroundings make us more connected.

All of this doesn't happen over night. It takes a long time and lots of bad choices along the way to guide you to the place that puts you on the right path. It also comes with learning to change your frame of mind from the negative to the positive and seeing things in a different light. That is so easy to write but really, really difficult to do in life. For me especially, I have been spending so much energy focused on what I miss that I have probably missed so many opportunities right in front of me. I've said it before and I will say it again....it's hard to be an adult!

Life is a constantly moving ride. If you don't keep your hands inside at all times you will have a price to pay. Thinking back on life as a kid where all you had to do was learn to tie your shoes, ride a bike or learn to swim, that was easy. Someone did your laundry, made you dinner - well, sometimes, but overall, you were takend care of. You didn't have to think. Life was easy, you rode your bike, played at the park and things like a ride on the see-saw was your biggest stress factor.

The see-saw is a great metaphor for life, it's the constant up-down-up-down movement that really keeps things interesting and in balance. You always had that moment of panic that your end wouldn't rise up when it was time and then all of a sudden, you were up - feet dangling and nothing at that very moment mattered. I guess as adults we can have moments like that, we can give and receive, have boisterous times and quiet times. We can dance ecstatically and then spend some time resting in quiet, calmness. As long as we have a fire in our belly and tears in our eyes we will have that integrated balance that makes us human.

Please keep your arms and legs in at all times and as always, no smoking. Enjoy the ride.

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