Hurry hurry, no wait wait

It's true the early bird gets the worm.
So does the late bird and the bird in-between.
Because by design, there are always more than enough worms.In fact, the only bird that doesn't get a worm, is the bird that doesn't go out to get one.
Oh, to be alive....
The Universe

I've always been the type of person that feels like I need a list...not necessarily a physical list, but a list in my head even of the things I need to do. Sadly as I've gotten older that list seems to get forgotten a lot so it's actually better now if I do write things down but overall lists have been a way for me to feel like I'm accomplishing something. I feel some significant pride and a sense of completion by checking things off a list.

However this weekend after having some downtime, I realized I don't really have a lot to add to my own "to do" list anymore. It's strange when one notices that things are significantly different in their own life. This opens up tons of opportunities for me I realize. I just want to find the right things to spend my time on. I don't want to just fill my time up to fill it. I want to enjoy what I am choosing to spend my time doing. I want to enjoy what I am doing and not just rush through it. It's going to take come conscious decisions to make this feel right.

Last night I laid on the couch staring out my window at the world wondering how to we know what are the right choices? How do we know that what we are moving towards is something we are not just trying to move away from? Life is constant motion and movement and I realize we have to keep moving, keep plowing ahead but when we do stop, when we pause, it kind of becomes muddled....at least it does for me.

Muddled meaning I start to question the things I am doing, seeking, wanting, working towards. Is it really what I want or something I've told myself I have to have, have to be or have to attain to matter, to be accepted, to be happy to be. I start to question all the things, people and events I spend my time on and I wonder what made me choose them in the beginning? What makes me continue to choose them? What makes them continue to choose me? Is there always something new there to replace something old?

So many more questions that answers. Isn't that always the case.