Say my name Universe!

Sometimes people can be shouting at you, jumping and screaming, waving their arms up over their head and you just don't notice.

I know messages come to us in forms of people, places and events but sometimes I get really confused about what exactly it's trying to say to me....can it not just "say my name?"

Yesterday the Universe said this to me:

If you could actually stand in someone else's shoes to hear what they hear, see what they see, and feel what they feel, you would honestly wonder what planet they live on, and be totally blown away by how different their "reality" is from yours. You'd also never, in a million years, be quick to judge again.
Just sayin'

The Universe

It had special meaning to me because of a conversation I had with a friend and one of the things she said to me that really stuck in my head was "you are irreplaceable in our lives". This came about because I was starting to feel sorry for myself a little (OK maybe a lot). It has been a bad week last week in terms of self-esteem and personal issues that just sort of left me feeling like I'd completely missed the train. I felt like every one's lives seem to move forward, that good things are happening to all the people around me (and I couldn't be happier for them....they deserve it as much as anyone....but what about me??) and I felt like I live in a bubble - a bubble of nothingness. Hopefully I am past that moment, but sometimes you have to feel what you feel. This particular friend is one that I can say these things too and she doesn't run screaming from me...or avoiding me...or judging me...she just calmly talks me off the ledge and knows better days are ahead. I love her for that.

Anyway, that statement - "you are irreplaceable in our lives" really kinda sucked my breath away. How lucky am I that someone, anyone feels that way about another person...but that person being me made it even more special. Some one picked me....chose me....felt that way about me without any reason. Without me having to do anything but just be me.....makes me really feel important. So there is the Universe (and my friend) sending me a message and I heard it....I felt it....but I don't know that I absorbed it. I am going to try to retain it, to keep it in my brain for the days I really need an extra boost but I just know that for right now...it's very comforting.

Today I had a rough start to my morning. I fell asleep like a rock last night, and woke up just before my alarm - which makes me mad but I dilly dallied a lot this morning. Changed clothes like 8 times and just had a sloooowww start. Then come to work and they are out of cream for my coffee, why I can't keep my own up here in the fridge is beyond me but I shouldn't HAVE to. Anyway, there is this blonde, overly made up woman who is SO clearly past her glory days but refuses to admit it (I'm not judging, I'm just stating a fact!) who thinks EVERYONE thinks she's adorable and wants to be around her.

Let me go on record right here and now and say "no"...."no thank you", defiantly NO! She thinks she doesn't have to wait in line to get her coffee or pay for things and that it's adorable that she shouts in her mousy, sing songy voice "hold the elevaaatttooorrrr". Ugh. I have zero time or patience for these type of people. They do not get to rule the world, they do not get to have 6 people wait while she finishes a conversation so she can get on our elevator. Another will be along in 2 seconds....good day.

So...that was the start to my morning. All I could think about was MY GOD this is going to be the longest day E-V-E-R! Then my thought from the Universe today:

One of the trickiest things about life is that, at times, it happens so slowly. Yet... if... it... happened... any... faster... you'd... already... have... everything... you... ever... wanted... without... learning... to... enjoy... the... ride. Beep, beep.

The Universe

I feel like I need something to look forward to. An event, an outing - anything to keep me motivated to keep moving forward. I got nothing. I realize I can change that but when you have something you are waiting for or working towards it makes the ride bearable. Without any direction it seems mundane, dull, pointless. I need a purpose. Hmmm.....we seem to always come back to this moment don't we.....do we always re-evaluate ourselves to constantly be re-purposing ourselves. Is that even a word?

Is it just me or are we complicated little ducks? We always have to be evolving and changing and thinking and growing and doing or we shrivel up and fade away. I'm not ready to do that but I am ready for something new. I've been on an interesting road this year. Made some new choices, taken the road well worn and traveled by others but never me and I'm not sorry, I don't regret any of it but, I am confused by it.

I kinda feel like I'm in one of those cars from a carnival that has a steering wheel but it doesn't really do anything...you can turn and turn and turn the wheel but the car still just randomly goes where ever it wants to, occasionally bouncing off another car or wall and suddenly you realize your spinning in circles. Leaves me a bit whoosy just thinking about it.

How do you learn to hear what the messages are? How do you learn to listen to what the world is telling you? Stop this ride I want to get off....or at least hop on another form of transportation.