Making mistakes

Happy new year...happy new decade. It's an opportunity for each of us right now to get on a new path and venture out into the world to see what it is we are really ready for and made of. It's a time of new beginnings, forgiveness, hope, fear, love, peace, happiness and mostly hope.

A new decade seems to offer so many more opportunities and choices than a regular new year change over. It's a time for each of us to move confidently forward towards something.

I've learned over the last year that you have to make mistakes to find out not only who you aren't but what you really want from life. You have to take some action and suddenly - insight follows. By making mistakes and taking wrong, uncharted paths we learn what it is we really want or need from friends, family, loved ones and sometimes we get the option to make that change happen. Sometimes we can only learn from the mistakes and hope that going forward we don't make those same mistakes.

I heard someone say we have to stop living unconsciously and we have to break the rules to test ourselves. I spent a good part of last year breaking rules and living outside my regular boring existence and for the most part I had a lot of fun and had some experiences I might never have allowed myself to think about much less actually do. I don't regret any of it....I do miss a lot of it though. It feels like it all changed so fast and really without my permission.

Change feels like something we have to pretend to embrace even as our hearts sink. We want it as much as we fear it for the most part. I know that change happens regardless of us accepting t or wanting it to or not. Not choice other than taking steps forward. Can't go around it or over it, have to go right through the middle of it and openly embrace all that it gives us.

I love the concept of change....I love the possibilities that thought brings to mind but in reality, I fight it probably more than I should. I always think I'm going to be brave and strong and embrace change. To open myself up to it and let if flow over me like a rainbow but the truth is, like anything else, I want to control the outcome, the finale, the happily ever after. I want it to be what I want it to be in my own time. When did I become so stubborn?

So possibly this is the year of making mistakes...the year of learning how to move on from them, to mend your heart and soul and to start this new decade fresh and with eyes wide open.

2010.....bring it on.