Life would be so much easier with a little help. But it's not. I feel like life right now is like one of those gerbil wheels...that for so long I have been running, powering through to get to this very point and all of a sudden I have no idea what I am looking for. I feel alone and scared and worried and completely overwhelmed with the thought of having to move forward. It's almost like I just want to go back to the life I used to live with the lightening twins!
Life was easy, I'd get up, go to work, come home have dinner and then watch TV until it was bedtime. On the weekends we'd head to mall and power shop all day. It was an uncomplicated life. Occasionally we'd go out to a movie but mostly we'd watch movies at home and when we did - we might shake things up and order a pizza. Yes...it was simpler times.
Not fulfilling in anyway however, that's why I ventured out of that circle. That's why the Universe sent me on my path, my journey, my hike into my own life. It's funny, if I really think back in my life I can almost pinpoint the moment I began this trek into trying to find the "real me". I know that's probably what our whole lives are about is finding ourselves, finding out who we are but some days it feels like I go one step forward and two steps back.
I know the older I get the more focused on figuring this out becomes. It feels like my mission, my purpose, my whole point of being. I need to know before I die who I am.
Last night as I talked over life with a friend I realized how much I overlook in my own life. How blessed I am and how much I really should be grateful for. I have so much more than I probably deserve and I am completely missing that right now. I've been so focused on this elusive "missing" piece of me that I am forgetting all the abundance right here, right now in my own life.
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."
I got these new cards, Angel cards, they are like the animal cards or the fairy card but with Angels. I love these cards, I feel like using these cards allows the Universe to find another way to get it's messages to me and I hear them....well I try to hear them. I keep pulling this one card over and over and over....it talks about opening up your heart. Apparently I am the Grinch and my heart is three sizes too small? I get what it's telling me, I just don't like it...I don't trust it, I don't feel ready for it...but I keep pulling the card so clearly the Universe thinks I am ready.
My message today from the Universe is this:
The more you lean on me the stronger we become. The stronger we become, the bigger we dream, the higher we fly, the bluer the sky, and the happier we dance.
Lean on me,
The Universe
I guess it's time, the Universe clearly thinks I am ready....leap and the net will appear. It better be a pretty strong net.
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