No idea what I am doing

It's going to take me a while to settle into a new routine. I realize it's really easy, at least it is for me, to ADD things to my life or my schedule or my day but taking things away really messes with me. I really don't know what to do with myself if I'm not preparing for the next thing. How do people live like this?

Last night I discovered TV again...well sort of....I got done with the ET and did a little cleaning then had nothing to do by 8:30 p.m........nothing. Usually I was doing homework or fine tuning homework or rushing to do research and there I was with NOTHING to do....so I turned on the TV. I forgot how many celebs have recently left us. There was some show on talking about why people feel so connected to celebs and why their death effects fans so much. I sort of tuned out but it made me think alot about why we connect to celebs. I can only speak for me but I always felt connected to in someway to someone who I thought would be fun to hang out with, someone who said or did things that made me think we could totally be bff's.....or they were totally hot. Like Antonio Banderas....he's just beautiful.

I think it's interesting when someone dies how you start to hear so much more about their life, the good, the bad and the ugly. It's really sort of sad how they really turn out to be really just like me in the end. They all seem to want the same thing, companionship, love, attention, friends, fame, money......just like any other person...they just somehow got lucky and got to be on a different track...but they mostly don't seem any happier or content than anyone I know who isn't a celeb. What a strange realization....they are just real people. Huh...who would have guessed that?

All I am hearing on the news and TV is about Michael Jackson's memorial, I realize it's for the living...for the grieving, for the world to say good bye but I say let the man rest in peace. Now I hear tickets to his memorial are being sold on EBay? Wild. It's crazy to me. He is gone, he doesn't have a clue what anyone thinks or feels yet he is still top news.

Although my message from The Universe sure ties into this:

And they shall say there once lived someone who had little idea of how they changed everything.
They will.
And, you have.
Tallyho,
The Universe

One person can change so much and they don't even know it. Is it possible to change things even as an average everyday person? Can each and everyone of us actually change things and not even realize it? If we don't realize it, how does anyone know it changed? It's like one of those number puzzles, you keep shifting the numbers around until they are all finally in order.

"When we choose not to focus on what's missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that's present...we experience heaven on earth."