Blank walls

I have been packing up my apartment for the move in a few weeks to my bigger apartment (same complex, same floor even just more space) and since I painted my home and made it my own it's been a daunting task to turn in back into the white box that someone else might want to live in. As the transformation has been taking place I realize I don't like blank walls, empty spaces. The plain white walls feel .....I'm not sure what but I don't feel like I am at home here anymore. Isn't that funny that by putting our own touches on our space we feel connected and at home. There are somethings I think I will do less of but I need color on my walls...in my space.....I thought I might be able to not have it in my new place but no...I am not meant to be one color. :)

In packing up my house I re-discovered my Magical Messages from the Fairies Oracle Cards and did a few readings. I was surprised at what they were saying to me. According to my readings by summer my life is going to be on my right path and I'm going to be surprisingly happy - come on summer! One interesting card I pulled while pondering my path was the assertiveness card. This kind of surprised me because I thought I'm probably one of the most assertive people I know. I always confuse assertive with aggressive though and I always thought I was more aggressive but actually I don't think I'm either on a regular basis. I think there are moments I can be either but overall I'd really like to be more assertive.

Assertive people seem to me to be happier...they are easy to get along with because you always know where you stand with them....they don't pull any punches. In pulling the assertive card it tells me my current situation calls for me to be more assertive, to speak my truth and to let go of unhealthy old communication habits.

Dang those magical fairy cards.

It's kind of fun to decide what to toss and what to keep when moving. It gives me a chance to look at what I have been holding onto and decide why I am really keeping it, the purpose of it and I realize it's time to purge some of the old. Why do we hold on to things for so long? It's just a physical thing from a time past....what's the purpose of holding on to these things? There is this guy here at the ET who is moving out after 14 years. I showed his apartment and as I walked through I saw these remnants of his life scattered throughout the place. There were things that clearly were put in place by his wife who passed away about a year and a half ago and he's just left in place....either because it comforts him or he's just so used to having them around it doesn't occur to him to change it.

I've found that I have so much stuff from my past that I didn't realize I still even had and some things I can't even remember what they are from. We are funny creatures. I've always wanted to live in the present, to open myself to the new and what the Universe sends my way but I wonder if holding on to the old stops that from happening.

I'm purging.....time to start with the new...out with the old...after all, it is a new year.