Lead an interesting life?

Who me?

There is this lady at work who always comes over almost the second I get to my desk and some days even before I've had my coffee she asks me about my weekend. I usually tell her it was uneventful and I don't tell her every little thing I've done but sometimes I share. I told her about going to see the Roller Girls on Saturday night, which by the way FREAKING rocked. I showed her my picture with Suzie Smash box, she was my favorite, she was amazing!

She laughed at me and said "You live such an interesting life. I can't wait for Monday mornings to hear about your crazy weekends".

Really....you are choosing to live vicariously through me? You got bigger troubles that I do my friend. It made me wonder though.....who do I live my life through? Who's life do I wish I had instead of my own...and frankly I'm not sure I could pick ONE person to switch lives with but I would love to pick pieces of people's lives....can we do that, can we pick apart the lives of others and absorb the things we want? Ahh, if only it were that easy...we'd all have perfect, happy lives.

Working in corporate America can be thankless. Some days it feels like all you are told are the things that you are doing wrong. Told that you don't fit the cookie cutter mold some yahoo higher up feels is the right "corporate image" or corporate personality and you must change, adapt, learn, grow....become all the things you aren't from 9 - 5 to fit in, to advance to be "successful". It's a confusing place to be. I have been told many times that who I am, my personality, my demeanor is good but it's not "corporate" me. I need to learn when to say things out loud, when to hold my tongue and to be aware of my "audience".

The confusing problem is, on the same hand, I'm told that's what people like about me, that I'm not a standard cookie cutter corporate robot. I have personality, I have an opinion and I will share it. I've been practicing really hard to think before I speak, to take a breath and think carefully of the words I use before I say things out loud and I think I've been doing pretty well at it....at least from a corporate standpoint. Today, I was talking to my boss and we were talking about our work style. He said he was told he is too measured in his responses. That when people ask him something he ponders and thinks about things too much before responding. I said I found that interesting because that is something I continue to work on...my thinking before I speak. He said....you probably could do that less too. I was confused....you want me to say what I think or you want me to think before I say. Which is it? How can you do both?

Today's message from the Universe -

No one ever regrets raising the bar, ever, ever, ever.
Scare yourself,

The Universe

Crazy right? Life is about constant revision....we always are revising who we are with different groups of people. Sometimes I don't remember who I am. I guess if we don't push ourselves to change, to grow to become something more, we will have to live our lives through others.

I don't want to do that.