Is falling in love the same thing as letting someone into your heart? I was talking to a resident today who is in his 80's and he was telling me a war story, his favorites, and he told me of this buddy of his who never got over his first love. The story was that he fell madly in love with this woman and when he went off to war she fell in love and married someone else. He was in his late 20's at that time and apparently never got over it. He apparently still pines away for this lost love.
It got me thinking....do you ever get over a broken heart? Is there an age limit on it? How many times can a heart be broken before it just can't be mended any longer?
I don't know that I have ever been officially IN LOVE with someone. I've loved people....I love my family (even though they make me crazy some times), my friends and occasionally another person but I don't know that I've ever had that "moment" where you know THIS IS IT. I kind of feel cheated. Does that really exist? Is it just a plot for a movie or does real love exist?
I have a quote board at work that I put quotes on everyday. Mostly I think people really enjoy them and occasionally I put one up that warrants discussion....mostly for people to share their thoughts with me on it and I enjoy it. I try to use uplifting, positive thoughts but once in awhile it surprises me how people react to what I've shared. This was an email I got from the sweetest, gentlest, nicest man. It surprised me that he even felt like he needed to comment but I wasn't sure how to even respond...I simply said....thank you for sharing your opinion.
I enjoy reading your message board, but today I found I disagreed with your message. Your board read, "We never love a person, only qualities." I believe love is a commitment to a person. I love (am committed to) my wife. That love transcends qualities. Not every quality my wife exhibits or action she takes is one that I find attractive. In fact, there are times she irritates me (and I know the reverse is even more true...sometimes I really bug my wife). Still, we are committed to each other and in our better moments, forgiving of each others' shortfalls, because of our love for each other. In short, I disagree with your message board today because, in my opinion, commitment--more than qualities--defines true love. Thanks for allowing me the chance to editorialize.
Does true love really exist or is it something we've convinced ourselves MUST exist? Can people really love qualities and in turn love the person? What if what you love about a person changes, do you have to learn to fall in love with them all over again? How can you mend a broken heart?
3 comments:
I think.. there are many forms of love and the "truest love" is when you "choose" to love someone warts and all. I think the 80-year-old is in love with the vision he saw in his past, that perhaps if it were to come true today he might be "thankful for unanswered prayers." My first love is one that I'll never forget and treasure to this very day. I still wonder what might have been. As I grow older, I have to agree with the gentleman who commented (it's a commitment and a choice to love.) The love you see in the movies is the stuff you feel when you first meet. After the fireworks have faded (which the movies DON'T show) and you face each other day-to-day seeing the dirt and grime, you need to choose to love that person for all the reason you saw when the fireworks first took flight.
I agree with the guy. If you love someones qualities you really are in love with what they can do for you. It may a starting point. but true love cannot exist until your focus is on making their life fulfilled. It's the selfless part of love that defines true love. In essence loving them more than the things they can do.
It sounds good anyway.
Commitment in a relationship is necessary, but I think it's more than that. The definition of commitment is a pledge to do, whatever that "do" happens to be. Equally essential to relationships is devotion, a totally different definition: a profound self-less dedication. People have been trying to define love for centuries. I wonder if it really is that elusive. I've been around enough to know that the commitment and devotion to the relationship means that you believe that you are better together. In the end, that's really all it takes.
Post a Comment