Freedom to be

I had a conversation the other day with a friend of mine and I said - it's only March and I seem to have completely forgotten about my New (new) Years resolution of NO RULES! Carpe Diem!! "Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die," we need to make the most of any and all opportunities because life is short and our time to be happy in the whole scheme of things, is really brief.

It got me thinking (again) about what I want from life, what is my purpose, my reason for being. What do I know deep in my soul and honestly, I kind of drew a blank. How can a person's soul stop communicating with them? Is it possible that there is so much external interference that you can no longer hear your own soul?

How do you reconnect one's soul with the divine? To combine all of your personality, family, work and reputation into one piece that ultimately gives you the freedom to be one's own true self. To have purpose and meaning. To know you make a difference on some level.

I believe our soul responds to celestial influences, forces that can provide us with a stronger sense of purpose. I believe in the power of a full moon, of the stars aligning and most assuredly in Fairy cards!

What is our reason for being, our mission for this lifetime? Does it change on a day to day basis? If we let go of the idea that we are suppose to be in control of our own lives can we more easily accept and appreciate the synchronicities that are pushing us in new directions all the time? Do we need to become more conscious of the invisible helping hand of the Universe guiding and directing us onto the life path we need to be traveling on and if so, how do we begin to let it?

Who we decide to be changes. We are one person at work, at home, with those we feel safe and secure enough with to let down our guard and be our true self. I joke with people and tell them I have a corporate personality. It's hard to be the corporate me because it's really like I have to fight against all that I am and put on this mask that feels like I am suffocating. I don't like it at all. It's necessary of course, because I have to have a job, get paid a decent enough salary that allows me to live my life the way I want...but the corporate me is oppressive.

So we need balance, we need things and people and places in our life that allow us to be us. That's what I feel like I am missing. I suppose in some perfect Universe, people have that at work and in their life but if you don't, you have to adjust. I think I'm just tired of adjusting. Tired of always feeling like I have to change who I am to fit into someone's version of a mold, a bubble....their world.

Can I not hear my soul any more because it's tired or is it just scared?

Message today from the Universe:

Sometimes, understanding others fears helps you to understand your actions, as well as your own pain. Plus, understanding their fears sometimes helps you to understand your own.

Ti amo, The Universe

So...if I am to gleam anything at all from this message it's that others have the same fears? Why do I feel like I am all alone on my own little fear island? Why does it seem like everyone else seem to just have things in place and seem to know where they are going and what they want out of life and I am drifting aimlessly, alone, in a little rubber raft?

What does their soul know that mine can't seem to say out loud to me?

Has my own soul given up on me?