Is the grass really greener on the other side? I always think it is. I always think people who have what I don't have are happier, more focused, more fun....prettier....but now I'm wondering if that's true or just something we tell ourselves until we get to that point.
You don't know what your missing until you really realize what your missing. Make sense? I think it takes time to realize what it is your really missing and sometimes we fill our lives or our time with all these things trying to find that missing piece only to find years later (um 3 years later in some cases) that you don't have to be missing anything...that things are OK just as they are. Aren't we complicated little ducks?
I look at some of my friends lives or in terms of their relationships and think....that's what I want, but I'm only seeing a moment, a snapshot of time....is that really what I want? There are parts of my old life I miss a lot and I don't even realize I am missing these things until I think about them. When life changes, at least for me, I tend to try to fill my time, my days, my mind with new things to force out the old. It's not always a bad thing because along the way I find some wonderful new things and friends!
Filling up my life makes me forget about the old and focus on the new. At some point though it's not working and you begin to think about the old....and you start to rationalize how great it was or why you gave parts of it up and you begin, at least I do, want that back. And it was great a lot of the time but overall since it ended it's clearly not the life you were intended to live so why do we focus so much on the past, so much on what we don't have and forget to see what is ahead or what we do have? Why do we keep wanting what we had?
Balance....we need a balance of the old and the new.
I spent some time over the holidays with a friend that knows me inside out....it was easy, no thought involved. They know what I like, what I don't like, when I'm tired, when I just need a moment....and I miss that, I miss that kind of a connection with another person but if they were around all the time would that be the reality? I often find that reality and our own reality don't really mesh.
I think my theme for 2009 is going to be balance.....learning the yin and the yang of my life.
Sounds easy.....right?
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