We are our actions

Our actions no matter how big or small, define us. They create who we are or who we become. You can say one thing but your actions really define you. Who knows your true self better than family. They know your true self and God help us all...we love each other despite it.

It was my family Christmas this weekend and despite the weather the family plowed through the snow and ice to celebrate the holiday. It was probably one of our better Christmas celebrations to date. We all had a great time and as usual there was more food and presents than any of us needed. We opened our family doors and let our freak flags fly high and proud!

We are lucky we have so much family and that we are able to get together and share some time even though we don't get to see each other as much as we'd like too. It's weird to me how fast time goes and how quickly the kids seem to grow....man they seem to have turned into adults right before my eyes yet I don't feel any older. I really enjoy spending time with them and watch them transform into these amazing people. Kills me how much better of a life they have at their age then I did....but I'm happy for them...happy for them to have less of a struggle and hopefully less of a stress on their identity and their place in this world.

As I finished up my holiday shopping with my 6 year old nephew in tow today I realized how self focused and self involved we become as people. People literally are so focused on one thing they just plow into you with their bodies, their shopping carts...their children. Amazing how tunneled we become. As we waited in line to see Santa it occurred to me this whole actions defining us thinking. We were the 6th set in line....lady #1 with her 2.3 children because and clearly a woman with money because the oldest boy (about 6)was dressed immaculately and the little girl (about 4) was a freaking princess in white ruffles, tights and the most sparkly shoes I've ever seen and the baby was like a gap child all perfect and shiny.

While waiting in line she was coaching the kids on how to sit and smile and being the perfect mom and she was patient and explaining every little question they seemed to spew out at lightening speed. She was freaking Donna Reed. Then it was time to place the children on Santa's lap - Jesus God. She turned into this she-devil shrill woman barking orders at the kids like a military Sargent. The 4 year old princess wanted nothing at all to do with Santa and screamed like she was burning at the stake. The poor boy was looking so scared but trying like hell to smile and the mother screamed at the kids....look over here...look over here...Tyler stop looking scared...smile...this is Santa for God's sake...come on Lilly....smile for mama.

I turned to the man next to me who stood there mouth agape and his disheveled kids with static wild hair and said "Um yeah, they're going to be in therapy for many years aren't they?" We both laughed. Then the crazy mom pulled out the letters the kids wrote to Santa and made the boy read them to Santa. Are you kidding me? Seriously she was up there about 10 minutes. Crazy. Talk about actions being who you are. Wow.

It made me start thinking about all the times I do things differently than I say and I thought all a person really has is their word...their deeds.....their integrity. If we aren't being truthful than what is the point? Love with your whole heart, give with no intent to receive and be happy with out expecting something to go wrong.

2009 is around the corner. I really have some major work ahead of me.