Memories

What would you do without memories? Would you choose to not be able to remember? What if you could choose to not remember the bad things? Some of us do that selectively anyway but what if?

What if you didn't remember you had a sucky childhood, or that you got your heart broke the first time you gave it away? What about all the bad choices you've made, what if you could just forget them. If you could would that mean you would then forget all the good things to? Would you forget that your grandparents loved you unconditionally? Would you forget what it felt like to love and to be loved in return? What it felt like when you left home for the first time? Can we choose our memories?

I have this one very distinct memory of my father that is probably the one real time I can remember feeling safe, protected even loved by him. Not that he ever endangered us or anything but he was kind of this non present person in my life most of the time. I was in grade school, 3rd or 4th grade and we lived in Chicago. A fireworks factory blew up and caused great distress because people didn't know what was happening and they all assumed we were being bombed. Chicago doesn't seem like a hot spot for bombings but whatever. Anyway, I remember sitting in the basement of the school huddled with my sister waiting for something to happen. I remember looking up and seeing my dad standing there frantically looking around for us and I remember the HUGE releif I felt as we ran into his arms. I never felt more safe or loved. It's funny....I wonder if my dad or even my sister remembers that in the same way I do?

What would your life look like if you didn't tell yourself things were difficult or that you couldn't do that? Where would you be? What if you couldn't have a negative thought about yourself? You life would look very very different. You begin to live in a whole different color.

What color is fear, hate or even failure?