I think if I had to lose any sense I'd much rather lose any one of my senses except the ability to hear, wait...maybe to speak but for sure those two senses would be the worst to lose. I realized how much the sound of things effect me. The same sound over and over like the clacking of nails, the cutting up of vegetables (hee hee) someone tapping a pencil or clicking a pen...really other peoples nervous ticks or habits seem to be something I really notice and am able to hone in on. I don't think I do any of those things but I do know I have a terrible habit of talking out loud to myself. I always have....it helps me process things better...although I bet that is annoying to others. I would also miss the noises other people make. A heavy sigh, the sound of someone else breathing right next to you (not at work but maybe when you are cuddling) the happy noises people make and I guess sometimes the sad ones. I also noticed how much I like the sound of shoes with a heel - not really a high heel, just a regular heel and the way they sound when you walk. There is something about that sound that makes me feel successful and oddly powerful. Rubber based souls just don't make any sound. Isn't that a strange realization?
I like the sound a shoe with a heel makes not only on a non-carpeted floor but on carpets as well. It seems to have some authority to it, like it conveys a message that says "I know where I'm going people...move out of my way". I noticed it on myself yesterday. I was wearing my cute red shoes and I realized I was feeling much more authoritative, determined and in charge of my own little bubble. I've said it before - a pair of shoes can make or break an outfit but a pair of shoes with a heel that clack clacks on the floor makes me feel like I am going places and know things.
Is there a sound to success or to power? Do the right shoes or clothes make that possible? I work with a few people who have very prominent footsteps and I always think they are on their way some place important. Isn't it funny the things we give power to? A prominent footstep, the right clothes, good hair. Ahh....can you imagine would you could accomplish if you had all three of those things!
When did hounds tooth (you know that sort of checkered pattern) become the new "corporate wear" for the ladies? Last week at this major meeting we were putting on a huge percentage of the lady folks were in hounds tooth patterns. Odd. I don't find it particularly attractive but it made me wonder....is that the new "power suit"? I know there used to be "power colors" you were suppose to wear but hounds tooth...that is one choice I just don't get.
I am a fan of color...not like over the top in your face color (well not for work!) and I prefer a little red or gold or some type of pattern to be a "power suit" but I guess I don't make the rules...yet. I "hosted" some out of town guests and when I talked to one of them on the phone directing him where to meet me he said how will I know who you are? I said I am wearing a striped dress with a gold jacket and I have red eye glasses. His comment was something like....wow...that's a lot of color.
Is it? Is that a lot of color? The dress was in browns and sort of a melon color and not really over the top but maybe he thought I mean like a gold glitter Judy Garland type of jacket and not the tasteful muted gold jacket I had on...regardless....embrace color people.
Where do we learn to compare ourself to others? It's not like we're born with that ability or skill. I guess it's just another life lesson we learn from our parents or society. I distinctly remember in 4th or 5th grade getting dressed for school and wearing what I was comfortable in...a checker shirt (maybe it was a hounds tooth pattern!) and I think my favorite striped pants. I remember arguing with my mom because she was insistent I go change and I of course refused (only goes to show that even as a child I was a bad daughter) and thus I won out and wore the outfit.
What I do remember about that incident is how it made me feel. All of a sudden I was so self aware and my, according to my mother (who was probably right!), horrible outfit. I remember feeling like crap all day and just wanting to burrow away in a hole. I think of that often when I am having a day when I feel bad about my outfit - did she set the tone for my whole clothes wearing life? Was she trying to protect me against the big scary world or was she just jealous I was being who I was no matter what anyone thought? Fine line.
I always find it surprising when people tell me I look nice...it always catches me off guard because I try really hard but I always feel like I'm not there, that they are just being nice. Do people really just say things to be nice?
When do we learn to trust ourself?
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