Going somewhere?

There are always things I should be doing....homework, housework even painting but sometimes you have to ignore all the rules and just live outside the lines. I've been pushing myself to do this lately and I've been...what's the right word....nervous, unsure...scared? Something like that...but I've not wanted to do this "alone". I feel like I need someone to be on this "ride"with me. After a pretty significant sucky day yesterday, I decided I couldn't just sit home and so I was forced myself to venture out- alone....all on my own, something I used to do all the time but for some reason stopped. So off I went to experience a Monday night all on my own.

I reached out to my safe, trusted, people who accept me as I am....or the who I let them see as the real me and no one could come play....was this the Universes way of telling me to just get used to being with me? Don't know. So off I went. I ran a few errands but decided I just needed to be for a bit and went to one of my favorite spots...the bar at Via. :) At first it was kind of strange to sit alone but once I settled in it was kind of nice to be watching the cars race down France Ave and there were like 3 people in the bar. There were these two business men next to me who kept sort of looking at me...not like LOOKING at me but they would glance over occasionally and when one went to the men's room the other man came over and said....are you alone? I just smiled and said yep....he's said to me.....you never see people do that anymore. I said I know...I never do this. We both kind of laughed and he left. It's like the person who stands backwards in the elevator...it freaks people out. :) I like that I probably freaked them out! Maybe I'm just easily amused?

So clearly we need to be alone with who we are, where we are and to ponder what we really want. Martini Monday's sure help a girl to do that too. I don't know...but the more I thought the more I realized I like having people in my life that just "get" me, some one who knows who I am without me having to explain and fill in my whole background. I like having people know me, to know that sometimes you just need someone to listen to you rant and rave at the world and to tell me I'm not crazy....and to just take care of me...for a minute...an hour....a night. Why can't you order that from the Sears catalog?

Sometimes you think life is moving in one direction and so you jump on board, and you start moving and moving and then the Universe or some other force deicdes it's not to be and it guides you in a new or different direction and you start again. I guess your choice is jump on board and ride that train or .....or fight it until you are so exhausted you have no choice but to ride along.

The Universes message today -

Until the really "great" stuff comes along do the not-so-great stuff.The not-so-great stuff always leads to the great stuff. Whereas doing nothing pretty much leads to nowhere.

And do it with a passion - The Universe

Why does it always have to be so......what's the word I want? Don't know. I guess it is what it is.