What's in a name?

I've always hated my name. It's always seemed...dull, boring....plain. I've always wanted a different name, something more exciting, something with more ompf, maybe even something sexier. I think that's why I like nicknames so much...I like the way a name you choose makes you feel. Sometimes if I'm feeling sassy enough I make up a name when someone asks me my name...but the problem is after a little while I forget who I said I was and then I forget who I am and it just gets more complicated from there.

Does a name make you who you are? If my name were something more exciting would I be more exciting? Would I be more interesting or popular or successful? Does a word define you?

It was a busy week/weekend and frankly I just needed to catch up on some sleep from my pretty sleepless week. Had a lot of sleep issues this last week that are hopefully over but Thursday was the worst of it. Woke up at 2am and could NOT go back to sleep to save my life. I did everything, I read, I played on the computer, I took a bath....nothing. Finally I just came into work at like 5am. Ugh. I felt like a zombie by about noon on Friday. It kind of carried over into Saturday and as a result after I got home at about 6pm I was a muddled mess. It was all I could do to change into "couch clothes" and collapse on the couch.

I literally did nothing....there was so much on my "to do" list but I just honestly couldn't even function. I dozed on and off and woke up starving ready to chew my arm off at about 9pm, ate and then crawled into bed. Ahhh. Sunday was a much better day for me.

Since I was so unmotivated on Saturday I had a lot to do on Sunday after my shift ended at the ET at 4. I helped my sister and her boyfriend file their taxes (I am a whiz on filing on line!) scanned some pictures, then tried to do homework. I couldn't seem to get motivated at home so I gathered my stuff and headed over to the bookstore. I sprawled out across a table and dug in. I have a terrible habit of talking out loud to myself...I think it's only going to get worse as I get older but apparently I was disgusted with one of my homework questions and was talking out loud to myself and this man next to me offered to help me. He was very sweet. He said "do you want me to read the question?" I was embarrassed but then thought it takes a village to raise this idiot so I took him up on his help. His name is Gordon.

It kind of made me laugh because it seemed like such an old person's name and he was....well my age, not old but old enough. He bought me a coffee (decaf!) and hung out with me for about 2 hours and we chatted and looked at my homework but mostly just chatted. It was really strange how familiar he seemed....he helped me answer my one homework question and then we just got to talking and all of a sudden it was time for the bookstore to close. It's funny, this was a complete unexpected moment that really was nice. Two complete strangers meeting because a crazy woman was talking to herself out loud...in public. Really nice, who would have thought.

Gordon is a smart, funny, charming man who really seemed like he was waiting for me...it's like the Universe put him there for me to find for that short burst of time. When they announced the store was closing, I packed up my stuff, he shook my hand and wished me luck and then we were both on our way. Isn't that fun! I don't know if our paths will ever cross again but it was so perfect that we were both there at that very moment.....one moment in time that just was meant to be..nothing more...nothing less. Nice.

My dad gets his results today from his bone marrow test....I'm feeling anxious for him, probably more so for my sisters because whatever the results are I think they are going to be the ones taking it the hardest. Knowing my dad, it will be some complicated mess but we'll get through it, we always do. I just hope that whatever the results are there are some answers. It's the not knowing or knowing what to plan or expect that makes it so much harder. If we just had a plan of attack....even if the plan of attack is there is nothing to be done....at least it's a plan.

Things happen everyday that remind us how really short life is...people die, they get sick, they lose their jobs, a loved one....everyday something happens. It's a good reminder to live each day to the fullest well maybe not to the fullest but I guess....don't postpone joy.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."