Is everyone suppose to have a soul mate? What exactly is a soul mate? I had to look up the definition - it says: it's a noun - a person with whom one has a strong affinity. Does that mean you have to be in love with or live with or be connected at the hip with a soul mate? Can a person have more than one? If you find a person or people that you have a strong connection with, is that enough?
I had dinner with an old friend last night. I forget how comforting it can be to not have to explain anything about yourself...that they just know the core you...the you that is real and is always there and you have history with them. You have background and it's just plain old comfortable. I like that.....it's easy...it's easy to relax and just let me be me and I know no matter what, we will still be friends...no judging, no rules, no anything but a nice easy night.
It got me thinking though about how I've been trying to "start over" all the time. Out with the old and in with the new. Are new beginnings really necessary? Sometimes the only thing you can do is trash everything and start over. I've done that in cooking, craft making and multiple work projects. Sometimes things just can't be fixed. Is that true for people? Do you sometime just have to trash them and start again?
How do you get others who have know you to forget the old and embrace the new? It's easy to say I won't do that anymore but you know you have done it, the people who know you know you've done it and yet how do you suddenly just stop the old and begin the new? It's like a new years resolution (or a NEW new years) and you just do it. For me it is a year of no rules. I say balls to the walls let's go for it and here we are, barely a month into my new year (remember I had the month delay) and I am already feeling myself slipping into my old ways. I don't like it Sam I am...I do not like green eggs and ham.
My therapist used this quote on me...which kind of make me mad at first but then I thought about it and I guess I'm OK with it....You are always one decision away from a new beginning. I was mad because I was like seriously....what does that really mean? Yes I realize I could easily make a different choice but it's not going to make things better or right or whatever...but then I thought about it...and I thought about it and realized, okay, I think I get it. I make one decision and I keep moving...then I make another and keep moving and soon I'm on a new path, headed in a new direction and I keep moving. I just wish I could get my head to stop thinking about the whole "what if" stuff all the time. It's frustrating to me that I can't seem to get my head on board with the rest of me. I feel one thing but I keep processing and thinking in another direction. One small change can sometimes make bigger things happen. It's like when you cook and you run out of one spice so you substitute something else and it changes the entire dish.
If you find that one person to connect with, your "soul mate" do things get easier?
2 comments:
You're friend sounds like a fabulous and exceedingly attractive young man. You're so lucky.
Good friends are hard to find! But when you have a good friend it's great. They know you and accept you for who you are just like you said. Like if my one friend came over I wouldn't have to hide all my clean laundry that I hadn't put away yet or do the dishes. Cuz I know she's normal and she knows I am normal. Good friends are the best. You seem so hard on yourself. I like that saying that your therapist said. :)
It's true probably.
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