I had to come into work really early today (6:15) because we had a breakfast meeting at 7 I had to help get set up for. I am really convinced that the wrong people are running the world. We had a breakfast that was sponsored by an outside group and they seemed sort of incompetent. First the people setting things up got here much later than we did, they were completely unprepared...they had huge banners to hang but nothing to hang them with and even though people had to register for this event (over 100 people) they all had to stop and sign in AND hand write a name tag...honestly....the wrong people in the wrong jobs! I wonder, are they happy doing their jobs?
As I drove into work the sky was this errie cloudy hub bub of activity just waiting to happen. At one point giant rain drops came spitting out of the sky like giant balls of water pelting my car and then just stopped. It was really odd. I started thinking how nice it would have been to just lay on the couch and stare out at this all day pondering life's meaning but I was already dressed and on my way to work so I couldn't do that. I was listening to my favorite cd (Jay Brannon) and his one song I really love that has the line that says why can't I have it all...that made me think about my own life and the struggle I have been having lately as I try to figure out my purpose (again!) and my inner voice spoke up or finally made it through all the outside chatter.
What does my soul want? Wanting is very different from needing...what does my inner soul want? Then I wonder...does my soul have a voice? Has mine been talking to me and I just can't hear it? I get by fine, I go about my life and my day to day activities without any real concern or issue and maybe it's an age thing but lately I really feel like something is missing. I can't figure it out. What does my soul need. It's clearly missing something and I just can't seem to hear what it's telling me. I admit I haven't been very good at listening to it but it is clearly trying to tell me something. The dictionary defines a soul as: the immaterial essence, animating principle, or actuating cause of an individual life. Immaterial essence of an individual life. I think there comes a point in time that we have stuffed down our own voice for so long and knowing my voice, it can't be kept quiet very long before it starts shouting like Horton Hears a Who...I'm here....I'm here. Great, now what do I do with that?
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