Can you hear what I am saying?

I realize words have power, I also realize facial expressions have power. The past few days have been filled with minor irritations and I realized just now after a frustrating conversation with a co-worker who is COMPLETELY clueless about basic, simple everyday type of work related tasks that I can convey a lot more with a look than with words. When I say things out loud they sometimes get ignored but if I look at someone with just the right look they seem to hear that. Odd isn't it that we tune out words so much easier than bodily expressions.

How can something wordless create more chaos? I wish I had a remote control device that I could use to mute, stop or erase things. I realize that would then be used on me in return but still, it would be helpful. I know people who use a lot of expressions and hand gestures when they talk...it seems to me they are in need of attention because it seems to be exaggerated when we are in public. What do they get from being stared at or talked about? What void does it fill? I can probably answer that pretty easily because I used to be like that (more than I am now. I am a work in progress). My friend used to point out to me that I needed to be the center of attention, I try really hard NOT to be that way now. Not that it's a bad thing but it can easily be abused. Look at me, look at me style can be really exhausting.

I think there is a difference between having fun, being who you really are and crossing the line to be the look at me type of person...it's actually probably more of a fine line but it's there. Do we need such external validation to complete ourselves?

I have another friend (oh yes....I have friends!) who is in need of external validation almost all the time. She constantly needs some sort of approval from peers, strangers, anyone on what she does. I hate to divide people into two types....those who HAVE to listen to the opinions of others and those who do what they want and don't care what anyone things. This can really become a habit and there are pitfalls of both styles. People can become so diluted by others input that they literally drown in self dobut or hatred if they don't get what they feel is the right validation. They have no confidence in who they are and what they can accomplish. On the other hand, those who don't care can easily become imprisoned by what they think they already know and may not venture out of their box at all. Aren't we complicated individuals?

When do we learn to trust our own voice and get validation from no one but ourselves?